Funny Redd Foxx quotes

If you can see the handwriting on the wall … you're on the toilet.

Love. Hygiene. That's the important thing. Hygiene. The toughest thing in the world: [you] have to turn to your mate one night and say: "You gotta wash your ass!" Shit. Knowing how difficult it is, I said it for you : You Gotta Wash Your Ass.

My first wife, I'll never forget her — and I've tried.

We were poor. If I wasn't a boy, I wouldn't have had nothing to play with.

Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.

Hey! Leave the door open will ya? The flies haven’t been out all day.

For a dummy, you make a lot of sense.

I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. So I rushed out and bought me one.

When you only make $3000 a year in social security, it's hard to be a philanthropist.

Do you realize that if the pilgrims have been chasing bobcats instead of turkeys... we'd all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving?!