Comedian Dat Phan

I watch Japanese animation, right? My mom's like, 'Dat Phan, you cannot watch cartoon -- it's too violent!' This is the same woman that goes, like, 'Dat Phan, if you don't take out the trash now, I will kill you!'

My poor mom, she's like, 'That's my son, Dat Phan. He crack joke all the time. I tell him go to law school, become a lawyer. But no, he move up to Hollywood -- he live out of his car; he eat Top Ramen with all the gay guys.'

When you grow up poor, you have to either work really hard to try and get where you want to be, or you'll just stay put.

I love doing comedy, you guys. I knew comedy was for me when I was the only Asian in high school that failed math. But you know, when I failed, eight other students around me failed, too.

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.