Best short quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper.

It's not really dating. I don't have any money, so we just kind of walk around. She'll always say things like, 'Where are we going?' 'Further.'

MTV needs to go back to showing hot teens...before they were pregnant.

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

I can say that. I have a television show.

I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks.

Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a argument. It's impossible you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense

I wonder what the word for dots looks like in Braille.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.