Best short quotes

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

But, you know, you can't be a star at home.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good -- stop.'

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That’s the new American dream.

Sometimes when I watch porn I get my hoodie on so I feel creepier.

When you grow up poor, you have to either work really hard to try and get where you want to be, or you'll just stay put.

What is stand-up comedy?

Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.

It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.

In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.