Best short quotes

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

Well u tell cancer I said I'ma shoot him twice me, by myself, all day, everyday, wakeup, go back to sleep, you wanna go night night nigga? everybody go night night everybody go night night

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

If you ain't got no job and you ain't smokin no weed, I dont know what the fuck you are doing with yo life.

Somebody help me, I'm being spontaneous!

God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

I'll tell you something that a girl does not like for you to whisper in her ear, and that is "I'm going to perform Jihad on your vagina".

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

Sure, the lion is king of the jungle, but airdrop him into Antarctica & he's just a penguin's bitch.