Best short quotes

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

I'm actually pretty athletic. I have to work out just to look fat.

Your head is as empty as a hermit's address book.

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

We got completely lost driving in, and we asked the way, yeah, why is it that when you ask for directions you always get the village-fucking-idiot!

You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.