Best short quotes

“No comment” is a comment.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.

But this Mother fucker here Nigga, This shit right here nigga; This is a love seat Nigga! I can't even sit on this if I ain't in love Nigga! What Kind of shit is that!

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Hello niggas, Hello bitches! Ladies I hope you don't mind me calling you bitches cuz I don't know you all by name.

Hookers don't like to snuggle.

How the hell do you wake up dead?

The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.